Title: Concrete Clover (haha, what is with me and the Rufus songs lately? I haven't even been listening to him!)
Pairing: We went over this already. Kthx.
Rating: Meh, NC17 for squick value. Not too graphic otherwise. R maybe.
There were nights when Elphaba would come in late, and Glinda would feign sleep, squinting her eyes slightly to watch her roommate undress and slip into bed. But she wouldn’t sleep. Instead, Elphaba sat with her back to the headboard, legs crossed, and she’d stare at her hands. Frequently, when she first came in, one hand would move to her lips, and she’d wipe the back of her hand across them. As time wore on, the movements would become sparser. Eventually, Elphaba would slip down until her head rested on the pillow, and she’d sigh deeply before turning on her side and falling asleep. Glinda never asked, never let on that she even knew Elphaba had been out late.
The next morning, things always went back to normal. Elphaba would kiss her, touch her and smile at her over her glasses while she was studying. If anything, Elphaba was more…loving on those mornings. It made Glinda very curious; so one night, she slipped out of bed and followed Elphaba. She made it to the garden, and there was someone else there. In the dark, Glinda had a hard time making out who it was, but the clouds drifted away from the moon suddenly, and she was able to see, briefly. Nessarose.
“Nessa, I’m not going to do this anymore.”
“You say that every time, Elphaba. That doesn’t make it true.”
Glinda watched as Elphaba backed away a couple of paces.
“If father found out…” Nessa said, her tone menacing.
“You can’t,” Elphaba said, although she didn’t sound certain.
Glinda’s mind was racing, trying to figure out what they were talking about.
“So then, don’t go. If you can be with her, you can do me this small favour.”
“Elphaba. Kiss me.”
After scuffing her boot in the dirt, Elphaba stepped forward again, and knelt in front of the bench Nessa was sitting on. She leaned in and pressed her lips to Nessa’s. Glinda covered her mouth to silence her small gasp. The scene before her was shocking and horrible and she was too entranced to look away.
“Please. You were late, Nanny will be back soon.”
Pulling back, Elphaba sat back on her heels and slid her hand along Nessa’s thigh, under the hem of her skirt. Nessa bit her lip, and even in the darkness, Glinda could see a sort of triumphant smirk there. Until Elphaba’s hand moved further, and then the smirk disappeared, replaced with a look that was so strikingly familiar, Glinda turned away. It wasn’t often that she caught any sort of resemblance between the sisters, but there, in Nessa’s expression was something Glinda had only ever seen when her hands were on Elphaba. And then Nessa moaned.
“Yes, Elphie,” she hissed.
Glinda had sobbed then, and run away, but not before Elphaba caught sight of her. Nessa was unaware, her eyes shut firmly, her back arching against the back of the bench. Unable to do much of anything, Elphaba stayed where she was, curling her fingers against Nessa until she spasmed and cried Elphaba’s name. Hastily, Elphaba removed her fingers, wiping them on her frock and grimacing at the slight burn. Nessa rested, panting lightly and licking her lips.
“I’m going,” Elphaba said quietly, getting to her feet.
“So soon? I don’t get to repay you?”
Silently, Elphaba shook her head. She turned and walked quickly out of the garden, back to the dormitory. Glinda wasn’t in the room, and Elphaba swore before knocking softly on the bathroom door. All she heard was Glinda retching, so she opened the door slowly.
“Glinda,” Elphaba whispered.
“You…Nessa…” Glinda shook her head.
And Elphaba struggled to explain, to tell Glinda that if her father ever found out, she would never be allowed back at Shiz. She would probably be sent to some asylum. What she didn’t say was that losing her father’s small bit of love for her would break her. Maybe Frex loved her for the same reason Nessa did: need. But it didn’t matter, it was still love. In the end, it was the middle of the night, and Elphaba was crying more than Glinda, the tears burning her cheeks, and then her hands when she wiped them away.
“It’s alright, Elphie,” Glinda soothed. “I understand.”
A lie, yes, but it didn’t matter. Elphaba still loved her, and she still loved Elphaba. Truthfully, Glinda didn’t understand until months later, when she’d returned from the Emerald City, alone. Nessa had left her a note one day:
Meet me in the garden tonight.
Lurline knows why Glinda went. Some ridiculous loyalty to Elphaba maybe, or some punishment to herself. Then again, maybe it was only for that moment, after her fingers pressed inside, when Nessa looked just like Elphaba did.
“Elphie,” Glinda sighed, just as Nessa did. Their voices were indistinguishable, tinged with that very same emotion; love with more than a touch of betrayal.
Still, something kept them going. Neither of them cared to think what.